Back-to-school balance: how to reset family routines and protect your peace
If you’ve got school-age kids, you’re likely in the thick of back-to-school season. As backpacks get zipped, uniforms are ironed, and lunchboxes line up ready for duty, this moment offers more than just a fresh start for our children. It’s also the perfect time to pause, breathe, and reassess your Fair Play deck.* Because let’s be honest, when school’s back in session, so is the invisible labour.
*This is the tool I use with clients to address mental load; if you’re not familiar, you can keep reading, this will still be useful, and I’ll link to more details as you need them.
Why now is the time to rebalance the mental load
Heading back to school brings a natural shift in routines and responsibilities. And if we’re not careful, those invisible tasks (the ones no one notices unless they don’t get done) can sneakily pile back on our plates.
The beauty of using the Fair Play method is that it makes the invisible visible. By putting all the moving parts of family life into “cards,” we get the chance to reset expectations, redivide responsibilities, and protect our peace.
So before the new term takes over, it’s worth asking:
💬 What cards are in play now that school is starting?
💬 What cards can you put down now that Summer is over?
💬 And (potential game changer) what cards might your kids be ready to take on themselves this year?
Back-to-school cards to consider
Here are just a few cards you might want to re-deal as the school year begins:
🚗 Transportation: Shared lifts, bus drop-offs, pick-ups, scooters (can you find the helmets?)
⚽️ After school sports: booking a spot, kit management, shifting pick up (is it in the same place?)
🎨 After school non-sports): Music lessons, art clubs, rehearsals...
🎒 Packing & unpacking: Backpacks, gym bags, water bottles, book bags
🍳 Weekday breakfasts: From cereal bowls to cooked options (plus your breakfast!)
🥪 School lunches: Meal planning, prepping, and packing (or paying)
🛍 Clothes & accessories: Uniforms, back-to-school shopping, weather-appropriate gear
⏰ Morning routine: Waking up, getting dressed, leaving the house without meltdowns (this is my biggest worry rn)
📚 Homework & projects: Supplies, supervision, quiet space to get back into the routine
💬 Teacher communication: Emails, parent conferences, updates (school will just email who you ask - be deliberate with the forms!)
📄 School forms: Permission slips, sign-ups, health records
❤️ School service: PTA duties, cake sales, volunteering
📖 Tutoring & coaching: Scheduling, managing, and supporting
🔌 Electronics & IT: Charging devices, managing portals, remembering passwords
Re-deal with intention
As you sit down with your partner, co-parent, or childcare support, try to assign cards not by default (“Mum always does this”) but by strengths, availability, and preference. And remember, nothing’s set in stone.
The Fair Play system is flexible. You can always re-deal, renegotiate, and adjust until your deck feels balanced and fair. This includes throughout the week - holding the transportation card on Monday morning doesn’t mean you are the only person who can ever hold this card.
Why kids should take cards too
One of the best-kept secrets? Kids can start taking ownership of cards themselves.
Older children can:
Pack their own lunch
Charge their own devices
Manage their homework time
Do their weekend laundry
It’s not about “helping out”, it’s about teaching ownership and helping them see things which need doing (picking up the mental load). When kids step up, they not only lighten your load but also build independence and confidence along the way.
Final thought
Back-to-school season can easily feel like chaos waiting to happen. But with a little intention, communication, and fairness, it can also be a reset button: a chance to step into the term with more balance, less overwhelm, and a sense of shared responsibility.
Here’s to a smoother start, lighter load, and a school year filled with collaboration over chaos.
✨ What cards will you be shifting as your family heads back into the school rhythm?
