Mixed feelings about breastfeeding: joy, grief, and everything in between
If you have mixed feelings about breastfeeding, you are far from alone. Many mothers feel a blend of joy, grief, pride, and frustration about feeding their child. Sometimes those feelings come all at once.
As a breastfeeding peer supporter and coach, I have listened to countless mothers share their feeding stories — and I have lived my own mix of joy and challenge. Over the past seven years, I have breastfed two children in cafés, on park benches, in the back of a car, and on trains between work and home.
I know what it feels like for feeding to be both a source of comfort and pain.
Feeding my toddler in the woods — a quiet moment of connection amid the busyness of motherhood.
When breastfeeding brings joy
Breastfeeding can create moments of deep connection: the quiet calm at the end of a busy day, the way your baby’s breathing slows against your chest, the magic of a feed turning a meltdown into peace.
For me, it has been a constant thread through the early years of motherhood. It has kept my children close while life has been moving quickly around us. It is one of my most valuable parenting tools!
When breastfeeding brings grief or pain
Not every feeding story is easy. Some mothers feel deep sadness that breastfeeding did not go as planned. You may have struggled with latching, supply, pain, returning to work, or a lack of support. You may have had to stop before you were ready - it’s been reported that this is the case for 80% of mums in the UK.
Your feelings are valid. They deserve space. You are not less of a mother because your feeding journey did not look the way you imagined.
The middle ground most of us live in
Most of us carry both pride and sadness in our feeding story. We may love some parts of it and find others hard. We may be proud of what we have managed and still wish it had been different.
Support matters for every kind of journey
Breastfeeding support is not only for the newborn phase. It is for the big transitions too: weaning, returning to work, reducing feeds, or deciding to stop. It is for when you are not sure what you want to do next and need someone to listen without judgment.
Peer support groups, the National Breastfeeding Helpline (open 24/7 on 0300 100 0212), and lactation consultants are there for you. And if you are balancing breastfeeding with going back to work, I have shared my tips in my guide to breastfeeding and returning to work in the UK.
How I can help
I am not a lactation consultant. I am a trained breastfeeding peer supporter and coach, which means I bring expert listening and practical tools to help you navigate your unique journey.
Through my coaching programme, Rooted and ReBloom, I work with mothers who are figuring out how feeding fits into their lives - whether that means continuing, stopping, or finding a rhythm that works alongside work and family.
My role is to stand alongside you, ask the right questions, and help you find your own way forward.
Your story matters
However your feeding journey has looked - whether it has been full of joy, grief or a mix of both - you are not alone.
If you would like to talk through your feeding story and explore your next steps, I would love to support you.
→ Book a free 30-minute connection call here thefloat.space/book
Helpful resources:
National Breastfeeding Helpline(24/7): 0300 100 0212
Emma Pickett IBCLC: @emmapickettibclc (she’s a particular expert on feeding toddlers and older children, and on stopping)
